Ladies and gentlemen, the results are in — and I'm delighted to report that LG has officially revolutionized Android upgrades as we know them.

Hang on — lemme clarify: By "revolutionized Android upgrades," I mean that the company has brought a new level of laughable absurdity to an already absurd area.

It's now been just over a year, y'see, since LG made a big show of unveiling its "Global Software Upgrade Center" — the industry's "first such facility aimed at providing customers worldwide with faster, timelier smartphone operating system and software updates," as the company put it in a carefully worded press release designed to solicit positive attention without requiring any real action.

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